While you we're here with me I experienced huge amounts of joy and happiness. I miss you every single day and now without you here it's hard to go through the day knowing I won't see you or even get to hear your voice. But I have to be strong and hope for the best, for myself, for you, for us. Drowned myself in liquor to try and evade the loneliness that I know I'll be experiencing within the coming days, and it actually works for a couple of hours. I went home and threw myself on the bed where we first kissed. Savoring the sweet memories we've had while hugging the pillow with your shirt as the cover. I'm already missing you badly from day one and I've still got 34 days to count. I don't want to think of it every day since I know they will seem longer than usual if you're counting them. I have to do something, get busy and work something out while you’re gone. I know you’ll be enjoying your vacation so I should also do the same to be happy and enjoy my moments here. I’m glad you’ve introduced me to your clique and I know I’ll be enjoying their company a lot. I’m still playing that song from Glee and it helps me think and focus my thoughts on our situation. It makes me think positive about us that even though you’re not here things will be fine. From the lyrics itself, “I’m defying Gravity” It makes me think that we can go for miles with what we have. “It’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap.” Taking a leap of faith has never been this hard but then again I want to put all my trust in my instincts that there will be brighter days and better days when you get back. I want you to come back, run straight to my arms and tell me you love me, how much you miss me and how much we want to be together (Yeah I know it’s so cheesy right? I’m sorry but I just can’t help it hahaha). Days will pass by and I know I’ll make it, staring at our picture together gives me courage and strength, makes me remember the only person who is willing to take chance with me in a short span of time we knew each other. It makes me cherish the times we’ve had and the love we feel. I’m getting better, like they say happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy, I want to be happy because I know you’ll be sad if I’m not happy. I wish I could just slumber for the next 34 days to come. I want your kiss to be my wakeup call, I want your face to be the first thing I see, I want your warm love to melt me and resuscitate me from my cryogenic state (talk about a medley of old fashion love thoughts with a touch of science from the future hahaha!) Anyways with all the $#!t I’m blabbering about all I really want to say is…
I MISS YOU.
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