It's been a long time since I wrote another blog and well. The day that I've been anticipating for has come. I've never felt so scared in my life and I know I should be able to handle this, because when we started out I know sooner or later you might loose interest. I don't want to be assuming and I'm still looking forward to the positive things. I don't know if I'm just in a state of paranoia or maybe I'm just having a hard time reading and predicting your emotions and actions. It's going to be a few days before we meet each other again and surviving this month without you has been hard. I don't know if you still feel the same way for me when you come back. Like I've said before I know there are three possible things that would happen when you come back. One is you come back and decide to be with me, two is you come back and we continue what we have without any labels, and last and worse part is, you come back decided to cut off any remaining connection with me. I feel so scared that chills come down my spine and goosebumps come off from my skin because I'm starting to think that it would be the last part. Once again the only happiness that I have will be simply taken away from me, but I guess I'm the only one to blame. I hope I'm wrong in all these. Wrong that you will cut off your remaining connection from me, wrong that the bond we shared for a short time is just going to end that way. I hope I'm just paranoid and that everything will turn out fine when you come back. I wish I can let you feel how much I miss you. Writing these blogs might not be enough but they're my only source of strength. They give me the courage to say to you what I can't as of the moment. They are able to clearly organize my thoughts and it makes my message clearer. But whatever happens I'm glad I met you and I still am. I know there's this goodness in your heart that will be unmatched by any other. Because at the times I needed to be happy you were there. You never failed to make me smile amidst my tears, you never failed to make me laugh amidst my sorrow. I know I'll never find someone else like you. That's why I'm willing to risk everything I have and I'm willing to wait as long as I can just so we can be together. This might be a trial for me and I will surpass this with you in my mind and heart. You bring out the best in me and there's nobody else who can do that. I love you and everyone knows that and you feel it too. What ever happens I will never stop loving you. See you soon.
"Love is like war, It takes sacrifice but it is worth dealing with..."
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