Another morning has come and I go through my daily routines. A talk with an old lover and a faithful friend asking how am I doing amidst the chaos and turmoil inside my head. I actually feel that I'm doing much better compared to the last few weeks. We talked about my current situation and I can't help but feel so naked. He see's right through me. He knows me so well that he can actually start and finish off my sentence. But anyways it was, as always, a feel good conversation. My best friend is about to come over before lunch and well someone asked me if all three of us could actually have lunch together. I told him politely that I want to have quality time with my best friend to talk about stuffs that well, needs to be talked about. I was looking forward to exchanging messages with the person I actually admire but let me have this day for myself. Take time to think and decide on what to do next. I mean we went out together once (yeah just the two of us) and well it wasn't a date, best friend was suppose to come as well but she couldn't make it due to some important reasons so it ended up being me and him. I am trying to figure out if I should actually pursue it since I really feel a connection to him. I mean he understands what I say and he actually told me once that I do make a lot of sense when I blabber about life. I kinda like that level of connection since it's something I haven't had in a long time. To determine whether this is just a friendly connection or maybe admiration or infatuation. I know I'm not in the right time to be in love with someone so I'm trying not to, but I don't want to waste the opportunity as well. I just hope that when the time comes that I am actually in love with him he tells me what he really feels as well and doesn't leave me hanging. I know it's a too big risk to take but hey, rewards of it can actually be great if it turns out right. I think I'll still go back to my old self when it comes to this kind of situation. Taking a risk but at the same time playing it safe. Hoping he'll message me soon. Like the bright sun that never fails to shine every morning which gives morning dews the beautiful sparkling light.
"I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you want to feel love, choose to love and be patient."
- Anonymous
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