It's been a long time since I've wrote here and well I do miss pouring my random thoughts views and opinions. I guess the main reason why I stopped in writing was the change that I initiated. Breaking down the very ideals that I've been holding onto, the cornerstones of my very personality and the pillars of my sanity. Slowly rebuilding, rearranging, and molding them for me to get a better understanding of the situation I am in right now. It's been 6 months and we're well off with each other. I don't even know how we're still able to keep that fire burning and still keep on lighting those fireworks every now and then. The feeling of your lips pressed against mine still lingers when I close my eyes. It's still all too dreamy in fact, I still can't believe that someone like you could actually want and like someone like me. I may be thinking too low of myself but then again we all have the capability to turn our dreams into reality. I guess this is me turning my dream into reality. I've always talked and spoken about how unconditional love should be and it never hit me that I was so hypocritical. I talked about it and yet I couldn't even give unconditional love to my partner. It hit me unexpectedly that all this time in the past I have always wanted conditions when it comes to love. Who doesn't right? I mean it gives you the feeling of being emotionally stable, sexually stable (but that doesn't mean I like to do it though... hahaha! oh yeah... I meant what I said. This blog ain't for the kids anyway.), and at some point financially stable. Conditions make a fine line in your relationship. The do's and don'ts, yes and no, the if's and but's. These help us achieve what we want from each other and how we can make the relationship last. Eventually these conditions will be broken, forgotten and will be replaced as time goes by. Some for the better, others for the worse. That is why I've learned to embrace the fact that no matter how hard you try to keep it permanent and consistent things will change. Some changes come gradually and some drastic. Coping up with these changes maybe hard at times but you'll make through if you talk it out with your partner. I've been doing it wrong all this time. I was ready to prove to the world that "the" unconditional lover exists through me by being consistent and resisting change. By doing so I build a relationship so full of conditions that at some point it won't feel like love anymore. So with my old personality renewed I have decided. To love once and for all, no if's no but's. To cope up with the changes instead of resisting them. To cherish each day as if it was the last and love like we'll never see each other again. To be that "Unconditional Lover" that everyone has ever dreamed of, wished for and prayed for.
"Practice love to have more love, practice hate to have more hate. Practice kindness to have more kindness, practice depression to have more depression. The choice is yours as always"
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