CL Stories - For the Love of Writing [Chapter 62]

I’ve missed writing. I’ve missed this feeling where you have so much in your mind and very little time to let them out. You carefully think about the things you want to say simply because there might be some people who could be hurt in the process of voicing out your unsolicited ideas and thoughts. I’ve missed how writing elevates the feeling of being in control over your emotions. It also helps you to process and plan what to do next after a very confusing debate between your heart and mind as well as a troublesome argument between what you feel and what is right. I’ve missed how writing is less stressful than having a conversation with a person who doesn’t have the tiniest bit of idea what you’re talking about. I seldom meet people nowadays who can engage in a sensible conversation for hours. I’ve missed how writing eases out the bad vibes I have with just one page. It’s miraculous (for me at least.). I’ve had this blog for quite some time now and it’s been a roller-coaster kind of thing. Freedom of speech is indeed a wonderful facade of the literary world. It plays a very crucial role in writing as well. Play around with words to depict, portray, and express what you feel (beware of the grammar police!). Writing random thoughts and ideas seem to be a good workout for the human psyche. It enhances your vocabulary prowess, thought processing and analytical skills. Writing in itself is a great form of art. It may not be as holy like some of the works of Leonardo Da Vinci or as colorful as Takashi Murakami’s (Japanese artist famous for his wildly colored artwork) pieces, but it can be equally creative and can be very meaningful. Do not take writing and the words that come with it lightly. Actions may speak louder than words, but words create a greater impact and is easily understood compared to actions which needs justifications most of the time. Just like reading, writing takes me to places where there are no limits, inhibitions and restrictions. Your mind will be the only one to enslave you and put boundaries to what you write about. Writing will test how vivid your mind is and how wild your imagination can be. You can write about anything under the sun. The challenge is for it to make sense as the words come together. Just like your perfect mix of coffee, each ingredient is in tune or in harmony with the others, so should your article or piece. Words have to be chosen carefully and wisely for it to appeal to the readers. They should blend with each other just like the colors in a painting.

“The right words will always be the simple ones.”

CL Stories - Just Hatched [Chapter 61]

The urge to be with you is getting stronger each day. The longing to wrap my arms around you and hug you tightly is starting to become unbearable. To feel your gentle lips pressed against mine is what I fantasize from time to time. I’m waiting for that one single kiss, one moment of truth to find out how deeply connected we are.  I don’t know for how long I could hold back. I feel as if each day is a slow decent to madness. Restlessness whenever I couldn't talk to you, smirking and smiling whenever I see your pictures. As much as I want to ignore the signs, I know it will probably go down that road and I am only fooling myself. All these bottled up emotions and feelings are starting to get the best of me. I’d probably burst out sooner rather than later in a myriad of poetic words, romantic gestures and lots of love letters, not to mention I am starting to blog again. I've been worse, so I’m quite proud of myself for being able to hold it back and keep my cool in this kind of situation. Knowing myself, I’m usually the kind of person to confess what I feel, when I feel it. Everything is becoming so dreamy again. Do I feel Butterflies in my stomach when I’m with you? Nope. I feel the whole zoo in there. Let’s not forget how spontaneous our conversation goes every time we’re together. It’s not so often we meet someone who we can spend four or five hours with just sitting and talking. I already have a lot of plans in mind and I’m just trying to see when I can set them in motion. You once told me to make you believe in Love and Relationship again and just so you know I like challenges and I can be very persuasive. This is just a start of some of the great things I could do. I can handle words very well but then again I’m not a big fan of them, talk is indeed cheap. I always believe that actions will always speak louder than words so I’ll stop talking and start doing.

“In life we meet someone that makes us realize why it never worked out with anybody else.”

CL Stories - Incoherence [Chapter 60]

Too sudden have I felt bliss in your arms, warmth from your touch. That little heart attack you give me when you smile. I have always been honest to myself. But for the first time I found myself lying, denying the fact that someone has once again made me feel special in a short span of time. We spent hours talking to each other not even noticing how long it has been, simply because we’re enjoying the time we are spending. Few days have passed and we decided to see each other. Anxiousness awaits us at the time of our first meeting. I took those steps, walking to the direction where I’m supposed to meet you. I turn up the volume of the music I was listening to just to lessen the nervous feeling. The thing in my chest pounds harder and faster while I approach the corner of the street. It’s as if it was beating to the tune of the song that was playing in my phone. Suddenly there you we’re walking straight towards me. I noticed your smile and I don’t even remember if I smiled back. I was probably on the verge of a panic attack and a lot of thoughts are circling in my head. I am having trouble organizing them before I could even spit out a single word. I whispered to myself “Get a grip. It’s just a first meeting. It’s not even a date so relax” I breathe a low sigh of relief and hoping he didn't notice it. I was sweating for some reason even though the weather was great. So I pumped up that courage, said hi and then on with our conversation while waiting for a cab to pass by. There we’re some “dead air” moments in the cab due to the fact that we've spoken for quite some time and have already uncovered a lot of information from each other. That actually makes me feel good because it makes me feel as if I had already known him for several years. The level of communication we have is just extraordinary. Which I think is really a good thing since that’s one trait I lack especially when I like someone. So we had dinner with a friend and started drinking in my room. A couple of hours later our friend had to go home and well, he stayed. The famous line of alcohol drinkers “one thing led to another and so on…” well that very much sums up what happened the rest of the night… till morning to be honest… I couldn't deny the fact that this is by far one of the happiest moments of 2013 for me. Day before yesterday we decided to see each other again. I invited him over for dinner. So it happened again without the influence of alcohol this time. It was bliss-drizzled evening for both of us. Who would have thought that such thing wouldn't last? As he rode a cab going home, I walked back to the house. And I was pondering the whole time if we are taking things too fast. I mean we both agreed to take it slow when we first started talking but as it seems it’s not even happening. We’re falling into each other’s arms faster than our feelings would take. I talked to him the next day and well… we seem to have mutual feelings about it. But I asked him once again to be sure. I asked him what he is really feeling at those moments. I am having doubts on myself as well because everything seems too perfect. Everything was falling into place without any efforts. I suggested taking things a notch down again. Next thing I know we were arguing like how lovers would over one thing. We unintentionally blamed each other for something. I said my apologies if I had made him feel uneasy or if I hurt him. I remember I asked him for a date before but he turned it down and said that we needed to hang out and get to know each other first. He suggested treating each other as friends, but that’s not possible from my side since I already have feelings for him, just not 100% sure yet, that’s why I wanted to take things slow. I clearly like him that’s for sure. But to admit that I love him at this stage is just too much. I told him I needed the whole night so I could think of how to proceed from our situation because it is clearly making both of us feel uncomfortable. We ended the conversation agreeing that we wouldn't disturb each other for the night so we could both think clearly.

"We can neither turn the hands of time to go faster or slower. We can only let it pass at its own pace and make the most out of the time that's slowly slipping away from our grasp."

CL Stories - 21 Knots lower [Chapter 59]

I never realized it would be this way. I know it’s probably too early to say anything. But I wouldn't deny that I am happy. Are you the one? Who knows? There are a lot of things to consider and the one of utmost importance is to take things down a notch and slow down. Like they say a hasty job spoils a master’s touch. I’m not one to fancy the changes this world keeps bringing but I guess there’s not really much I can do. To stay the same and fight the flow of life is not a wise decision to make but neither is to go faster than its currents. Just like how the fishes go with the ebb and flow of the seas we all should do the same with life. It’s always better to take the stairs (unless your climbing 200 floors up I wouldn't recommend the stairs. LoL), take a walk, lie down and listen to music, stop for a while and breathe fresh air, grab a beer and watch your favorite game. We already live in a busy world and some people fail to notice the importance of taking a time off. In our endless pursuit of happiness we come face to face with different obstacles. Going on a fast pace doesn't guarantee that we’ll overcome the obstacles or immediately reach the happiness we desire. The ride itself while you’re pursuing happiness is the key to overcoming the obstacles. Slow down and appreciate the scenery. There might also be hints and clues that could help you overcome what’s coming your way if you slow down. So I've made up my mind this time. I've always been the kind of person who grabs an opportunity if it’s there since I know all of them have a shelf life. This time around I will study and examine the kind of opportunity that’s in front of me and grab it at the right moment. I don’t know why I haven’t thought of this before. I guess my thinking of not taking anything for granted got the best of me that’s why I seem to rush into things. I definitely have a better understanding and clearer vision this year on what I should be doing and how I should be doing them, probably because these is what I've learned from my mistakes last year. I’m still excited on how things will go and how it will turn out, but all in good time. To be writing this just means I’m ready to take on another journey and chapter of my semi-boring life. But more over this is to signify that I've probably found another source of inspiration, hopefully it’s not limited this time. I know people change and feelings fade, but then again it is a matter of choice. You choose which you can change and you choose the feelings to fight for to stop it from changing.

“Slow down and enjoy the ride. Life is too beautiful to just pass by it.”