CL Stories – Maternal Instinct [Chapter 31]

A twenty four hour job. No monetary salary, an in house and on call job. The essence of being a woman and the pride of each and every other man. The only being capable of giving a true unconditional love, care and attention. Strong yet fragile, soft and yet firm. These are only some of the qualities that make up the best person we can look up to in the world (that's in my case though), that's my Mom. I grew up as child raised by my mom (My father went overseas as soon as I turned two). I usually see my dad once or twice every year. Growing up with her has given me the best foundation and cornerstones in my life. The values and key points that I should learn as I grow up has been taught to me in her own way. All that I am right now, I owe it to her. That's why whenever someone compliments the way I am (e.g. personality, mind set, values and discipline) I always say "My mom raised me well..." and as a matter of fact I am still able to learn a lot from her even at my current age. We have had our good and bad times as well. From the hundreds of lies and tantrum I've had when I was a kid up to when she and my dad went separate ways, and up until my dad almost disowned me for being who I am. She is always there to show and make me feel loved despite all that has happened. Even if she's miles away or just in the room above mine she makes sure I feel her support for me in all ways possible. That's why I made a promise to myself that the only girl who will be worth all my love and care is my MOM.

"She'll never get tired of you nor forsake you in any kind of way. You both have a bond that can never be severed and will always be there till the end of time. She will always be your Mother."

CL Stories – A Hint of Rainbow [Chapter 30]

As the rain stops you are left with a street that's wet, worse if it's flooded and worst case scenario the place where you live in becomes a desolate place. Whichever situation your in after the rain, it still brings positivity and hope. It starts out with the cool breeze that may be too cold but still feels good to the skin. Every person may or may not feel any significance when a rain pours, but pretty sure once it stops it will always be meaningful. Each and every one of us is hoping for a better life. A happy family, a well compensated job and career and a house built and based in our deepest dreams and desires. Who wouldn't want a life of success and happiness. The end of a downpour may signify the start of a new life, it may indicate that there are somethings that needs to end, it may also imply that somethings need to be straighten up. We can look at it in hundreds of angles more than a hundred times. Each one of us is unique so we will have different thoughts and opinions about it and we react differently as well. As some scenery are much more beautiful after the rain, so are the situations in our life. Some cuisines taste better if you add a little spice to it, you learn to appreciate the commodities and luxuries in life way better if they are brought about by your hard earned money, and being through so much pain and frustrations in life makes the taste of success sweeter and makes it worth achieving. The rain has stopped and we look forward to the coming sunny days, but still hope that the cool breeze stays with season. Time to clean and dry up our wet and muddy shoes and slippers. Time to get the car washed and house cleaned. It is also a great time to reflect on things that have happened, things that are happening and things that might happen. Time to go with the weather and as soon as the sun comes right after the rain, a band of colorful light arcs to the sky. It is also the same with us and how we go through the journey of living. The only way for us to live better after a great disaster is if we let positivity, humility, kindness and the will to never give up influence our next course of actions. Only by then we see the real "RAINBOW" in our lives. 

"Seven colors are formed from a single white light, so are seven deadly sins from the devil and seven sacraments from God."

CL Stories – Owl's Eye View [Chapter 29]

In every situation there will always be a point of view that will be missed by ninety nine percent of the people. A lost piece of the puzzle. A missing link to a series of connection, a vital information that makes everything reasonable or a formula to the most complex equations. People don't just simply act the way they do. The only thing that will never ever have a reason in this world is love. More than fifty percent of peoples acts will always have a reason behind it. Finding this missing key to the set of doors that stands right in front of you will give you insight to how things turned out. There is more to the quote "Think outside the box" than what we already know. Looking at the situation in every single view possible. We need to isolate ourselves and be on the farthest point of view to be able to see the bigger picture. The sagacity of a judge as he passes his verdict on a certain situation will depend on how he analyzes it. We need to be able to put ourselves in a judge's place to become the best in assessing the events that we are facing. We need to be able to see and hear the side not only of the victim but also of the suspect and the most important which is the witness. The jury is there to help us in analyzing the given facts and evidences. By isolating ourselves from the situation and listening to each side of the story makes us see the picture in pieces and we can put them together one by one. We need to put ourselves in the fourth person point of view only by then will we be able to fully understand about what really happened. It will always be hard to try and put a puzzle together by looking so close to the details. We need to move away from it to figure out which specific piece is lost. A series connection will never work if there is a link that is broken. A crucial information that is not involved in the incident may bridge the gap to how a crime was committed. The right formula will always give the perfect loop of equations. If we course through life this way, we will get a better understanding of how to manage and solve even the most complex and crazy situations that life may throw at us. We grow wiser, increase our degree of self-responsibility, and make more reasonable decisions and actions. 

"The fool believes in what everyone's naked eye have seen. The wise believes in himself  after analyzing what everyone's naked eye had seen."

CL Stories - Divine Vengeance [Chapter 28]

I’ve never felt so angry in my life, until this time. I got so scared of myself that I might actually be able to kill the person who broke the biggest urn of patience that I’m keeping. I’m usually calm and composed when something has been done to tick me off. I have the kind of patience that most people would actually want to have. I can tolerate almost any kind of insult to me except for one. That is to mess up with my loved one right in front of my face. The kind of confidence you have in yourself to be able to pull off a stunt like that in front of me, in front of my friends, at my own house and on my loved one’s birthday celebration is just colossal. But you know what? It’s the kind of confidence that people should never have. It’s a destructive confidence that you fail to consider the feelings of the people around you. Ignorant, arrogant, and inconsiderate that was simply streaming right out of your personality. I wanted to jab you right after my eyes saw what happened, be thankful that some friends actually stopped me. I still recall when I was a kid that my aunt would hurt me every time that I didn’t want to sleep during afternoon. I vowed to myself that I would never hurt anyone physically like that. I’m glad that up until now I still haven’t laid a single hand on anyone. A punch in the face, a kick or whatever kind of painful blow it may be, I still haven’t done it to anyone. Simply because I know how it feels and it will never feel good not even for me if I was the inflictor. This is a time in my life that I’m frightened because I might be able to channel all the anger that was kept inside that urn of patience and once it’s all out I might not know when to stop. I may end up killing that person with my own bare hands. Due to the series of unfortunate events I have decided to shut myself off from the world. Invest more attention on what I should be focusing on and keep a low profile. I came out here without any colleagues or companions except for my family and I was fine and happy. I don’t see any reason why I should be down even if I shut myself out from the people that recently came into my life. There’s only one bond that I’ll never be willing to give up, and that is the bond that I have with you. I have been with you through the worst times of your life and have seen the worse personalities you have and the most puzzling fact is it never makes me love you less. I’ve embraced the fact that it is who you really are and I just simply love you no matter what. We’ve recently had a talk about our situation and you’ve said some things that I could actually hold onto with the kind of relationship we have. It makes me happy that you never fail to re assure me that you love me. It gives me that secure feeling amidst all the things that have recently happened. I’ve promised to myself that I would never put you in a situation where you’ll have to choose. But what if that time comes? The time where my promise is broken and where you’ll have to decide? Will you continue on and be with someone who’s been with you yet doesn’t know you totally? Or be with someone who’s been with you, accepted you and loves you for what your really are, may it be good or bad. As I’ve said I’ll always be here no matter what and I intend to keep that promise. This is the promise of a faithful friend and a silent lover. 

”Love hath no need for reason, definition or description. All it needs is intuition, communication and appreciation.”



CL Stories – ... and Lust (Part 2) [Chapter 27]

Staring at the bottle of red wine on my table and deciphering on what I should do with it. My precious one just left to meet his friends and I'm left with the company of this bottle. It's dark red luscious content inside a green sexy bottle, it's so tempting to just simply gulp it from the bottle itself without considering how it would taste. I decided to give in to the temptation. I took a cork opener and pop the stopper from the bottle. The sweet fragrance suddenly invaded my sense of smell. I took a cup, poured its content and savored it's scent like it was an addictive drug. I started sipping it along with a soda and it was like drinking from the fountain of youth. The sudden urge to smoke came in after taking three glasses of this fermented grape juice. I went out to the parking area, still with a glass on my hand and a cigarette on the other. Bit by bit, simultaneous acts of drinking and smoking is getting in to me. My body starts to become numb and my senses are starting to get a bit dull. I finished my cigarette and went back to my room to spend more time with my companion. Three more glasses and the contents of the bottle are halved. Memories start to flash everytime I'd close my eyes. Vague and faint memories of times that has passed, from the moment I met you till the last minute you were with me. They're like bits and pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Recollecting them little by little and my longing for you grows stronger. I miss your kiss, how you would look into my eyes, I'd close them and then feel you pressing your lips against mine. The bittersweet taste of the wine also reminds me of how your kiss feels like. I miss the way you touch my face and smudge my cheeks softly with your thumbs while gazing at each other. More and more memories flash in my mind, it's like a near death experience where everything that has happened in your life suddenly flashes right before your eyes. Another three or four glasses and the wine is almost gone. I trembled as the cold winter breeze glazed my body when I open the huge glass door that separates my room from the parking area. I lit another cigarette to help keep me warm. As my body shakes and tries to produce heat more and more memories fill me in. As the devil in me takes over, pictures from my minds little black book came pouring down. I slowly recall them one by one and my body that has now coped up with the cool winter wind is starting to give more than just body heat. I went inside the room to get the images off my psyche and finish off the remaining wine, but it just got worse as I saw my bed. Hundreds of thoughts and images are now gushing right into my brain. The heat from my body grew enormously intense as I close the glass door. The once pure thoughts of longing for your touch, kisses, and hugs now turn into great amount of lust. I suddenly want to get out out my clothes since I was feeling so hot, but then again I sat down and gulped down the last amounts of liquor in the bottle. The demon has gotten the better of me, I now can't stop thinking of how I can relive those carvings in my minds black book. I laid myself on the bed after finishing the bottle of wine and closed my eyes, still feeling the heat through my whole body even though its a bit numb. I took off my pajamas and was about to fall asleep until a loud sound pierced my sense of hearing... "Do... do you got a first aid kit handy!?" My phone was ringing and I looked it up to see who was calling, It was you. I answered and you told me you were outside the gate. It was temptation at its greatest form. It felt like a huge cauldron of gasoline was poured on me and I was soaked in it from head to toe. That one single source of heat would ignite me and make me burst into flames. I shook off my head and hurried to the glass door (without noticing I was only in my boxers) and rushed to the gate. I opened it and you were there, standing amidst the cold air and darkness of the night. My heartbeat suddenly went a beat faster than it was. Could it be the effect of the surroundings? Maybe the red wine which has now been absorbed by my body? Or maybe the plain sight of you? I couldn't really determine, it might actually be all three. We went inside my room to get away from the cold night that was lingering outside. Thoughts grow deep as darkness consumes us when I closed my dim-lit room. I was longing for you so much that holding in what I really want to do is more than a challenge. I closed my eyes while whispering to myself at the back of my mind, "Hold me... hurry... Hold me... Touch me... Kiss me... Hug me..." Your warm hands touched my face... your thumbs smudge my cold cheeks... I was getting what I was longing for... again I am falling for you bit by bit... You wrapped your arms around my waist and hugged me tightly... I got what I needed and again, fall even harder for you... at last I opened my eyes... and found you gazing at me through the abyssal night. The remaining lights from outside the glass door reflects in your eyes. It pierced me, like a wooden stake through my heart and there it was... I was yours for the taking... as my eyes adjusted through darkness I knew what would happen next... I knew that whatever would happen next it is what I was looking for... waiting for... longing for... A night spent in eternal bliss... 

"Though no oath is shared between lovers, in their hearts they know it is only each other they seek."

CL Stories – Of Love... (Part 1) [Chapter 27]

The day started with me thinking of you as the sun shines. I open up my phone and read your message that you got home, you even sent it twice which instantly puts a smile on my face. With three hours of sleep and barely enough energy to go to work, the thought of what might happen tonight gets me going. I've been longing for your touch, the kind of touch that sends chills down my spine. Sipping on my usual morning coffee while browsing through the web for updates from friends as well as thinking of how to spend the night with you. Arrived at work just about fifteen minutes before my schedule so I went to the nearest store and bought my cigarettes and a bottle of water. Lit up one stick just before I started my duty. Work is toxic as usual, but with a little help from the senior receptionist I made it through. I had to leave the hotel by four in the afternoon to do some training on basic fire fighting. I guess it was triggered because there was one instance where a fire broke out in one of the rooms. So there I was sitting in the boring room trying to learn and grasp what I can from the oh so good trainer (yeah that was pure sarcasm... he can barely speak correctly and was having a hard time conveying what he really wanted us to know and learn... haha!). I got interested by the time we went to the basement and we really did put out a fire. We used both the water type and dry powder type extinguisher. After the training I went back to the hotel and finish off some remaining paper works. Just outside my workplace I opened my mobile and saw you tried to call me a while back. So I called you and well we decided to take dinner at home and probably watch some movies. It was an ordinary event that I know would make me extraordinarily happy. I called my best friend to check up on how things are going on her side of the city, she instantly invited me to have dinner with her at the nearest restaurant. So I figured out that instead of cooking a dinner for you (yeah since I'm meeting my best friend there won't be enough time for cooking.) I just thought of bringing you food from the restaurant where I'll be coming from. After a little chit chat with my best friend I went home and prepared myself before meeting you (shower and all the vanity stuff... hahaha!). As you came to the house Mom and some family members we're about to eat dinner outside. You gave mom a hug (Yeah since she really didn't like us making "mano po" since it makes her feel old! hahaha!) I failed miserably with the food I bought since it never crossed my mind that you really didn't eat that kind of food. So I quickly grabbed something from the fridge and cooked it. We had dinner and had a really sensible talk over it. I'm really happy with how things are turning out between us. It's actually surprising how you asked me if I was really happy with the kind of relationship we have. I don't know how much assurance I still have to give you just to make you believe that I really am happy. We decided to watch a horror movie (Yeah I know you like it... since you get too see how scared I am during the whole movie which I know you find it funny... haha!). So yeah it was kind of embarrassing how I got cramps while watching the movie. Maybe because of the fact that I was really scared and couldn't control how my heart, mind and body would react through the scenes in the movie. Somebody called and invited you for coffee right after we watched the movie. You asked me if it's ok and I said yes (Though at the back of my mind you already canceled your appointments for today... but I guess it's okay since we've already enjoyed our dinner and movie.). As you left to meet your friends I decided to sober myself up with a bottle of wine... (To be continued...) 

"A time spent well with the one you love is a time that will always be remembered and cherished.."