I am staring at our Christmas tree, the lights continuously flickering, fading in and out and dancing endlessly as if there was a music playing. The only thing I can hear is the click of every single letter and punctuation I press on this keyboard. I’d probably feel that I was deaf if I had used a rubber keyboard since it wouldn’t generate any sound. The silence is slowly drowning out the noise in my pretty big nutshell. I’m not quite sure why I’m not really looking forward to the most festive and most celebrated season of the year. I don’t even know how many days are left before Christmas comes, maybe because of the fact that this Christmas won’t be the same as the ones before. Winter season just came in and don’t get me wrong I love the cold weather, just not the cold memories it brings back. It feels more than just being doused with a bucket full of ice cold water. It could be my soul slowly catching hypothermia, slowly drifting into the deep, dark and freezing abyss of loneliness. Being unable to warm up myself with every thought possible, every single breath and second become crucial to my survival. The slightest mishap could send my heart straight to the bottom of the pit of sadness and despair. Every corner of my room gives a new meaning to the word nostalgia, I can literally picture out things that have happened in the last three years, both good and bad. I open the glass door, and as I inhale the cool winter breeze more memories flood my psyche. Chills course through my body and I am again reminded of events that have passed inside these walls, winter never seemed so cold until now. Christmas is near and I’ve spent the last seasons with my family, friends and a special someone. This time around, there won’t be a special someone. Someone you sleep and wake up with during cold nights and mornings, have breakfast lunch and dinner together, slack off, cuddle with, watch movies and have endless hugs and kisses. I guess this will really be a cryogenic Christmas for me. It will be an icy, chilly, deep frozen, below-zero, frostbiting, glacial Christmas. But nonetheless I am still hopeful and positive, even if that person comes along or not, I know I will be in good hands with family and friends.
"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of happy family and friends all wrapped up in each other."
